Oh hey guys!
So which one of the following excuses are you willing to accept to explain my lack of blogging lately?
- I got caught up watching TV and lost track of time….for 3 months.
- I forgot the password/log-in combo to my WordPress account—4 times in a row.
- My sprained my foot. Update! Turns out I broke my foot and tore a really important ligament–while taking out the trash.
- I’ve been watching Youtube videos of girls doing their hair—and then trying to copy it and it turns out horribly.
- I’ve been working TWO jobs—but shhh! don’t tell the IRS about the cash from the second job.
- I’ve been getting my eyebrows “on fleek”—and then wondering if I’m using that word correctly.
- I’ve been sending Drake thirsty DM’s on Instagram in the hopes that he will make me a member of his harem.
Basically everything listed above is true. Including the DM’s to Drake. I have no shame. No, Drake himself hasn’t answered me yet but…you know what? No. I’ll save that story for another entry because its slightly juicy and I haven’t told anyone about it yet. I’ll remain suspenseful until further notice.
So listen. I greatly underestimated my need for a break after completing my Master’s degree in August. Yes, I finally finished it and can officially call myself a Master (or Massa), as well as a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCE), and a soon to be Counseling in Resident in the State of Virginia. I can also call myself broke because STUDENT LOANS.
Graduate School took the literal life out of me. My summer was a blur. I was either taking a class, studying for my Comps, seeing clients at my internship, or you know working at
the plantation my day job for the government. I also slept sometimes because you know I managed to develop a case of insomnia during all this. And I ate. Terribly.
When it was all said and done, I chose to retreat and restore myself.
I’m a high tempo person. I use that phrase to describe myself in the sense that I have a very high threshold for juggling activities and things. I can multi-task like a boss, yo. I used every ounce of my energy and personal strength to make it to graduation (Side note: I actually didn’t attend graduation. BUT GURL DATS ANOTHA STORY!) and then after that I collapsed. I had all these grand plans of things I was going to start doing but my inner Oprah told me to sit my ass down and just chill. So I did.
I have a hard time with sitting idle. I have to be constantly doing something. I think its just my nature. I’m fast paced. I’m high tempo. I crave the energy and need it to thrive But I spent the last few months just retreating inward and reflecting while resting and building up my reserves so I can take on the next challenges for my life.
During this reflective period, I realized that I work alot. It became a sad reality to me that I actually work more than I play. And that’s incredibly sad considering I’m not even 30 yet. I began to notice a pattern of me giving tons of energy and effort in areas of my life and to people in my life that were undeserving. Its eye opening and slightly upsetting to realize that even though you place people and things at a high priority that it doesn’t necessarily mean you will receive that energy coming back to you.
So. I’m refocusing. I’m reevaluating. I’ve decided for the first time ever I’m putting myself and my needs first. The short version of this is that I plan on making 2015 the most selfish year of my life. This is super uncharacteristic for me and will be challenging. Trust me.
2015 is going to be all about me. All me. ME. ME. ME. Mememememmemememme.
Obviously I won’t be neglecting my friends and family both human and feline. But I’m going to really work on making myself happy and realigning goals for myself.
Speaking of goals. I went to a really fun Vision Board party hosted by the always fab Michelle. She has a great blog that you need to check out because she’s cute and cooks yummy things. She hosted a bunch of lovely ladies and I while we ate brunch, sipped on mimosas ( I didn’t sip, I guzzled mine) and set our intentions for this year.
That was mine. I chose images that spoke to me visually (fancy way of saying I picked out pretty pictures) about how I intend the year 2015 to be. Just a fun, fashionable, mature woman coming into her own. I’ll be 29 on Friday. I’ll admit I’m having a bit of anxiety about it. I’m grown up in human years but I still feel young. But I also feel old. I feel accomplished, but I also feel behind. It’s a strange conundrum.
I actually lowkey feel that I’m entering into a second adolescence. Like the big girls version of transitioning into being an adult. My I’m sunsetting on my twenties and things are becoming clear to me. The fog is being lifted, the path is becoming visible. Shit is getting real,in layman’s terms.
I am going to make an effort to continue writing on my blog. Infrequently– because let’s be real, I’ll never get to the point of being consistent with this. Sorry not sorry. But I know at least the four people that read this blog while they should be working may appreciate it.
So Happy New Year. Happy Dawning of Aquarius (which begins today) and blessings and good wishes for the year 2015.